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As people started coming into Aruba on the night of my album launch, my energy level increased by the second. And by energy level, I mean pure terror. I had been anticipating the event for weeks with excitement and fear. Everyone kept telling me to treat it like it was a normal gig, to just be myself, and to relax. But oh how that was much easier said than done. It would not be a normal gig for many reasons. It would be much shorter than a regular gig, being only one set of about 45 minutes. So the impression I make on the audience would be based on a mere 10 songs that should encapsulate the essence of my album and at the same time showcase my capacity as a singer. For a lot of people, it would be the first time they would hear me. And a lot of those people...would be from the media. That was the most nerve-wracking factor.
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I was getting my makeup done when Jonna (one of our road managers) told me that some media people were already there. The makeup artist finished in a hurry and I was off to do my initial round of interviews. First it was ABS-CBN with Mario Dumaual (!!!) together with another TV station who didn't bother introducing themselves (probably because I was already supposed to know who they were...), then I talked to the correspondent of Cinema One, and then Mario Dumaual again for some follow-up questions! I was so scared I'd end up sounding stupid on-cam, but SOMEHOW I was able to talk coherently, and the news reporters actually responded positively to me. After that first round, I made it to the bar to have some semblance of a dinner. But after my first bite, I was asked to do another interview. This time it was with the lovely people of ETC. (I joined them last summer in Boracay to do a show, so I was already familiar with them, not to mention more relaxed.) The interviews came and went, mostly repeating answers to the same questions, and I was able to appear calm and collected. My parents were amazed at how unruffled I was the whole night, but I assured them it was only on the surface. Inside, my body parts separated from one another and ran for their lives!
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.I was able to take a few more bites of "dinner" before Shooli (our other road manager) told me we were starting in five minutes. Panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic. When I get nervous before a show, it usually lasts a few moments and then I'd take control again and be cool. So I was waiting for that moment to arrive...But it just never came! I quickly changed into my dress, which I had picked out two months ago just for the event. And when I came out of the restroom, Lhar Santiago from GMA was waiting in front of the stage to interview me. At this point, my panic level was at an extreme high since I was about to go on stage already. I don't even know anymore what he asked me or how I answered. But I went through it with all the poise I could muster. Finally, FINALLY...I went on the stage and said a little prayer before the lights went on.
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And...ACTION! "A Song For You" played on the piano and when I started to sing, The Moment finally came. The panic disappeared. I realized then that Aruba was packed that night, and that was exactly what I had hoped for. They were all there to see me! So when I had forgotten the entire second verse of the song, I knew I couldn't let anybody know. The band had no idea where I was when I started singing the chorus instead of the verse, so they cleverly faded away for me to go a capella until we could all come together again at some point in the song. THAT should have made me fall to pieces. But somehow it didn't! And my manager didn't pull his hair out as I imagined he would, so I THINK we got away with it!
The rest of the set went more smoothly with the exception of a recurring wardrobe malfunction. The tube dress that I had bought for this momentous occasion kept slipping down! And every camera from every major TV network was on me as I almost flashed the whole audience (every so often). But what could I do but pull it up every time it slipped down. I had a show to deliver and I couldn't be worried about my dress! Or so this is what I told myself as I kept worrying about it. I sang the standards from my album, my two compositions (which I was most excited to do), and finished it off with Dianne Reeves' "Better Days." Applause and then dimmed lights. I got through the set.
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When I came down from the stage, the people from MYX waited for their interview. I was at the VJ Search all over again. "Introduce the event, talk about your album, and ask them to vote for your video." Just a few weeks ago, their instructions were: "Tell us how you felt about the activity, say something about yourself, and tell the viewers to vote for you as the next VJ." Hahaha! It was great to see them again, although many of them couldn't come because of other events they had to attend. The MYX interview was the last. So I changed into some Mossimo clothes that WOULDN'T malfunction and finally got to sit down with my guests. (THANK YOU TO MOSSIMO!!!)
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.The buzz of the album launch lasted for a good while as I looked back on what had happened. I had some major bloopers, e.g. wardrobe disaster, forgotten lyrics, etc., but the audience didn't seem to mind or notice. The part I hated most was forgetting to thank some people for coming to the event. Although my nervousness went away at some point, my head was stuck in spin cycle the whole time. I remember how Hilary Swank forgot to thank her then-husband when she won an Oscar in 1999, and that makes me feel less guilty. But still...I'm really sorry. I'm sure she felt just as awful.
.My journey has OFFICIALLY begun. Starting next month I am going to be busy with a mall tour all over the Philippines. I'm going to be in need of multivitamins so I shall stock up on them! This rocket has been launched and I am reaching for the sky.
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.P.S. Thank you to Universal Records for the HUGE support you have been giving me. Also to the radio stations who were able to make it to the launch and show me your love! RX 93.1, 101.1 Yes FM, Energy 91.5, and 102.7 Star FM, I obviously wouldn't be anywhere without you guys! Maraming salamat po!
